The Single Parent LifeLife in the Fastest & the Slowest LanesSingle Parent life can both whizz by because you always have so much to do with no help and at the same time seem to last forever when you are in the thick of things and you just want some light in your tunnel!According to the Office of National Statistics, as of 2004 there were 1.9 million single parent households in the UK, with 3.1 million children. In the US as of 2003, single mother households numbered over 10 million while single father households rose to over 2 million. Obviously the structure of the family unit is changing, and with that, being a single parent today may possibly be getting a bit easier than it ever has been previously due to social acceptance and higher prevalence. Do not misunderstand though - being a single parent can be hard - very hard. There will be some days when you just want to stay under the covers, but hopefully, by understanding what to expect from single parenthood, you will be able to keep those days to a minimum. What to ExpectYour children may react to your divorce in completely different ways to what you expect from them - one may be angry with you, another may be happy with the situation, while another may seem to be indifferent. Be prepared to deal with each of your children wherever they are on the scale. Show them that you love them, and try to give them the stability and support that they need right now. Let them know that just because you are a single parent, it does not mean that they will be loved any less by you or your Ex partner.Building a support network.Next, work on building a support network. Gather a group of positive family and friends that understand the life of a single parent, and will be there for you to help out when you need it. You may also join organizations of people who are in the same situation as you, and are going through the same experiences. Joining a group like Parents Without Partners will help you to understand on a deeper level that you are not alone.Returning to Work.Returning to work after a divorce becomes even more of a challenge for a single parent particularly if you have been at home for any period of time.Have you thought through your variety of working options now? Are you going to work full-time? Part-time? What about freelancing or working from home? The possibilities are numerous. If you have young children, finding day care where you may have not have had any previously is an added stress. That is where your support network will be helpful. Ask those who you trust to recommend people to care for your children when you cannot be there for them. For older children that don’t need daily care, explain to them the importance of trust in these unfamiliar circumstances. Set up a schedule of household duties and chores for the entire family. Let them know that they may have to pitch in a bit more than they were used to since you are a single parent now. Be sure to periodically reward their hard work as they like to know they are fully appreciated! Single parent holidaysSingle parent holidays may at first sound terrifying, but they can be a fantastic way to deepen the bond with your children particularly if you do not have primary custody. Work out a fair and equitable schedule with your ex so that the kids know that even though you are divorced, they will still be spending recreational time with both of their parents. Children benefit enormously from vacations where the most crucial aspect of the time away is spending quality time together.Looking after you!Most importantly don’t forget to look after you. In your busy schedule, be sure to make time for yourself. Even if it is only for an hour or two, a little time alone can and will make your transition into being the 'best single parent' possible, a little more easy and fulfilling.
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