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Emotional Support During your Divorce

Finding strong emotional support like a therapist or counsellor will help you to work your way through each of the stages of divorce. These stages are very similar to those experienced during any type of loss.

Made famous by Elizabeth Kubler-Ross, the five grief stages are as follows:

  • Denial
  • Anger
  • Bargaining
  • Depression
  • Acceptance

    • It is helpful to recognise which stage you are in while going through your divorce & to help expedite your deliverance out as a whole person on the other side.

    Finding and Using Counselors

    Much like finding a good mediator, finding a counselor who fits your needs may take time. Make a list of counselors in your area who will provide the type of emotional support you need as well as will fit into your budget. Use your gut instinct when you meet and chat with them. If you don’t feel comfortable with an individual, then go to the next one on your list.

    Dealing with Anger, Guilt and Blame

    Your counsellor will help you to deal with the swirl of feelings that you are going through. Whether you are dealing with anger, guilt, blame, or all three, a strong counselor will give you the necessary tools you need to make it through your divorce.

    A good counselor should work as a Facilitator and not give you his or her opinion directly about your circumstances. It is important that they remain neutral whilst at the same time being empathetic and supportive to you.

    Dealing with an Affair

    Whether it was you who had an affair or whether it was you was cheated on, Adultery can take a serious toll on everyone's emotions. If you are the Adulterer you may question whether or not you will ever be able to be faithful again. Your current partner may also have questions of whether or not you are trustworthy in any relationship.

    If you were cheated on you may feel as though you cannot trust any of your judgements ever again. You probably feel hurt, betrayed, upset, sad, lost, confused, broken and very angry.

    Regardless of what side of the Affair you are on, a good counselor will be able to provide emotional support and help you to sort out your feelings so that your future relationships have the best chance to be strong and healthy.

    Local Support Groups

    Another method of boosting your self-esteem at this time comes from local support groups set up especially for people who are going through the same experience as you. Attending such a group will help you to ensure you do not feel as isolated during this period. Go online, look in the local paper and seek out groups in your area. It is always nice to know that we are not alone.

    Courses Available

    Another way to avoid isolation is to take courses. You may take a course on topics such as 'Life after Divorce' or 'Dating Again' - or you may choose to take a course completely unrelated to your current circumstances. Either way, taking a class will help you to meet people and form a wider network for yourself during your time of transition.

    Trying to stay Positive and Cope Day to Day

    Your goal at this time should be to stay as positive as possible. Remember, life is how you perceive it. If using emotional support will help you to hold onto the positive results this life change will have, why wouldn’t you seek out the help? Be kind to yourself during this stressful time - take each day as it comes and you will be on your way to a positive future & a Happy Divorce.

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