The Effects of Divorce on Infants & Toddlers

Fear not! This is the age group which are most likely to make the easiest long-term adjustments because the memory of their intact family life will fade fastest and their new family arrangements soon become the accepted norm.

Whilst Infants and Toddlers may not be able to actually comprehend the complications and intricacies of a Divorce, they are however usually able to sense a change in atmosphere and tension.

Gradually introduce any necessary changes and pay particular attention to changes in carers at this time. Try to keep the same one or two familiar faces as far as is possible as anxiety can build rapidly if children are looked after by too many new people in a short space of time.

When everything else around them seems to be changing, it is vitally important that routine, love, attention and reassurance is available by the bucketful.

Changes you may Notice

1. Changes in Sleep Patterns

With increased fears and anxiousness, many babies and toddlers will regress with broken sleep patterns and routines. Try to get into a regular bedtime routine and not allow disorganised naps and bedtimes which are known to reduce sleep at night.

Keep bathtime and stories to a set routine and try to always set aside special time for your little one at the end of the day to comfort, reassure and make them feel secure before they drop off to sleep.

2. Crying Patterns

Infants can become increasingly clingy during the early days as your anxiety feeds into their little world. They may well cry more and become more shy and be less happy to be left in another room alone or with other people.

This is perfectly normal as they struggle to cope with a situation over which they have no control over.

3. Tantrums

This type of behaviour may be hard for you to deal with in an already heightened level of stress but try to take the unexplained movements between happiness to anger to tantrums to sulking to aggressiveness all in your stride as natural reactions to a situation where your toddler is powerless to affect anything.

4. Aggressive Behaviour to Others

Whether or not your toddler attends Day care, they may well exhibit some level of aggressive behviour to other children or siblings in the form of hitting, biting or pushing. This may be completely out of character for your child & quite alarming when it first begins!

Rest assured however that it is most likely only a temporary situtaion and you must remain consistent in your approach to eliminating it. Be firm and explain that this is unacceptable behaviour and try to channel their aggressive energies into other acitivities and use this as a sign to spend more one-on-one time where you can discuss things that are troubling him or her.

5. Regression in Toilet Habits

Some toddlers will regress in their toilet and bathroom habits to the extent that they wet the bed again at night and need to go back to wearing nappies / diapers. If this happens do not make a big issue out of the event and try to be patient. Reintroduce a reward system for dry nights and days and it won't be long before they are back on track!

Continue to always focus on Good Behaviour and use reward charts to keep their attention focused on creating positive behaviours